No Bun & No Cake

As much as I didn’t want to write the post, I knew I had to.  You can tell just by the title that my IUI this month was a big fat FAIL.  If you remember my post from last week, you’ll know that I had a feeling it didn’t work.  Even having a feeling it wasn’t going to work, didn’t make it in easier to see a negative pregnancy test.  Negative pregnancy tests never get easier.  I was 14 days past my IUI when I could take my test and of course it was negative.  I went to my doctor’s office the next day to verify with a blood test & my blood test was indeed negative.  To be honest, I didn’t cry.  I cried the day before taking my at home pregnancy test, because I knew it had failed, but after getting both results, I didn’t cry.  I don’t cry at negative pregnancy tests anymore—I get angry.

As a woman, getting pregnant is one of our most basic functions and I’m angered that it hasn’t happened to me yet (other than my miscarriage).  

I thought we were going to take the month off from doing another cycle, but my husband and I decided we could and will try again this cycle.  I started my period today, so that means I’ll go in tomorrow for a baseline ultrasound to confirm that I don’t have any cysts on my ovaries.  If I do have cysts, we will have to cancel the cycle, but if I’m cyst free, I can start my medication on day 3 of my cycle (Thursday).  I’ll be discussing will my physician changing my medication from Letrozole to Clomid.  I only had one follicle last month on Letrozole and my physician wants to see more.  He suggested doing injectable medication, but the cost of that is outrageous, plus I’d be going to more frequent ultrasounds and blood work which will take our 500ish dollars a month to well over 2-3 thousand for a month of IUI. 

I do have one big reservation about taking Clomid—the first and only time I took Clomid, I didn’t ovulate.  I was only on 50mg, so I’ll probably ask to start on a much higher dose to try to get as many follicles as possible.

My doctor also wanted to discuss possibly doing surgery on my uterine abnormality.  I’ll be honest when I say that I don’t want to have surgery.  I have some anxiety thinking about having someone (regardless of how awesome they are) do surgery on the very necessary item you need to carry a child.  What if he makes a mistake and I end up losing my uterus—all those dreams of having children are immediately thrown out the window with a mistake.

Cheers to a new cycle of IUI and praying it works this time!